A few days after Christmas a friend of my husband's came over to visit for the evening. We were talking about Christmas gifts. He bought his girlfriend a compound bow for Christmas and she's been practicing archery shooting hay bales behind their apartment complex for the sheer joy of it. He asked me, "so did you get anything cool, anything that you really wanted for Christmas?" I had to admit that I hadn't, but to myself all I could think was, "I don't think anyone knows me well enough to get me something that I really want." Physically I am often alone, but true loneliness comes from being emotionally stranded on your own desert island. A lack of intimacy is a great poverty.
An added facet to that is that I have to be authentically myself in my marriage and be merciful to my husband in those moments in which my authentic self is rejected. I have to show him the love and mercy of Christ always, as I can imagine Jesus looking upon my husband and imploring him to open his eyes and accept grace.
"Help me, O Lord, that my heart may be merciful so that I myself may feel all the sufferings of my neighbor. I will refuse my heart to no one. I will be sincere even with those who, I know, will abuse my kindness. And I will lock myself up in the most merciful Heart of Jesus. I will bear my own suffering in silence. May Your mercy, O Lord, rest upon me." Divine Mercy in My Soul, 163.