Saturday, March 1, 2014

Oh, Baby

Lillian turned a year old last Saturday, so in a fit of I-don't-know-what-to-write here are the things that I would tell myself if I went back in time a la Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.

1. Pregnancy exercise. Keep doing it even though it's a pain to make it to the park and walk every day. A time will come and you will not be able to walk two whole laps without your porky legs seizing up.

2. Pre-natal Yoga. Don't buy that DVD. You won't magically enjoy yoga now that you're pregnant. It's boring and will mostly be used as building block by the baby after birth.

3. Natural Labor. You can do it. But you should not be going through transition in a cramped Toyota Corolla. You should probably get to the birth center before you are a 9 and make them fill up that big tub!

4. Baby Socks. Just get white ones. She will rip socks off and discard them in odd locations. She will attempt to discard socks in the middle of the grocery store. In the car. At Grandma's house. In the yard. A matching pair will cease to exist in your house, although you will have tiny feet bearing two adorable un-matching socks. Always.

5. Baby Tubs. They're a pain. Soap buildup is yucky. Just get a bath mat and set that into the regular tub. It uses more water but it's 1000 times less annoying.

6. Baby clothes. Don't fold them. It wastes your time. The onesies which become victims of heinous poosplosions should be respectfully laid to rest as  brave soldiers who have fallen in battle. Seriously, that yellow stain is not going to come out.

7. Babywise. Go ahead and read that book. Get some tips from it. You don't have to follow everything it says and get stressed out when things aren't going that way. Use your instincts and everything will be fine.

8. Baby food. Just mash up some veggies and stuff. Those little jars are too expensive and bland. Eventually she will refuse to eat them and you will have a basket-full of useless can-flavored, limp vegetables sitting on a shelf.

9. Nursing bras. Don't bother trying to find an affordable nursing bra that is supportive and fits. It's a lot easier to just buy some snapping pieces and modify a bra that you already have.

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